Recovery often begins with a willingness to look at life differently. For people participating in Alcoholics Anonymous or other 12-step programs, that can mean questioning old assumptions, letting go of rigid beliefs, and becoming open to new ways of thinking.
The Set Aside Prayer AA is commonly used by people in recovery to help create that mindset.
At its heart, the Set Aside Prayer is about openness. It asks for help setting aside preconceived ideas, previous experiences, personal opinions, and expectations so that a person can approach recovery with a fresh perspective.
This can be especially valuable when reading recovery literature, working with a sponsor, attending meetings, studying the Twelve Steps, or dealing with difficult situations in everyday life.
Although the Set Aside Prayer is widely associated with AA and other 12-step communities, it is generally understood as a prayer that developed through fellowship and recovery practice rather than as an official Conference-approved AA prayer.
Its popularity comes from the simplicity of its message: sometimes growth becomes possible only when we become willing to admit that we may not already know everything.
For someone beginning recovery—or even someone who has been sober for years—the Set Aside Prayer can serve as a reminder to remain teachable.
What Is the Set Aside Prayer AA?
The Set Aside Prayer AA is a spiritual prayer commonly used by people involved in Alcoholics Anonymous and other 12-step recovery programs.
Different versions of the prayer circulate within recovery communities, but the central idea is consistent.
The person praying asks for help putting aside:
- What they think they already know
- Their previous experiences
- Their assumptions about recovery
- Their opinions about themselves
- Their beliefs about other people
- Their expectations about spirituality
- Their ideas about the Twelve Steps
The purpose is not to erase past experience.
Instead, it is to temporarily loosen the grip of old assumptions so that new understanding can become possible.
Imagine someone attending their first AA meeting while thinking, “This will never work for me.”
Even if valuable information is being shared, that belief may prevent them from hearing it.
The Set Aside Prayer encourages a different approach:
“What if I become willing to listen before deciding?”
That small shift can make an enormous difference.
A Common Version of the Set Aside Prayer
Because different groups and individuals may use different wording, there is no single universal version used everywhere.
A commonly shared version expresses the following idea:
God, please help me set aside everything I think I know about myself, my recovery, the Twelve Steps, and You, so I may have an open mind and a new experience. Please help me see the truth.
The exact wording may vary.
Some versions mention Alcoholics Anonymous specifically, while others simply refer to recovery, spirituality, or the subject being studied.
The power of the prayer is not necessarily found in memorizing exact words.
The deeper value comes from the attitude behind those words.
It is an invitation to humility.
What Does the Set Aside Prayer Mean?
The Set Aside Prayer meaning becomes clearer when we examine the phrase “set aside.”
Setting something aside does not necessarily mean rejecting it permanently.
It means placing it down temporarily.
For example, imagine reading a book while constantly comparing every sentence with what you already believe.
Instead of genuinely exploring the author’s ideas, you are evaluating everything before you have fully understood it.
Recovery can work the same way.
A person may enter AA with strong ideas such as:
“I already know why I drink.”
“I know what spirituality means.”
“I don’t need anyone’s help.”
“I’ve tried recovery before.”
“The Steps won’t work for someone like me.”
“I know what my problem is.”
These ideas may or may not be accurate.
The Set Aside Prayer asks us to temporarily put them down.
Doing so creates room for another possibility.
Instead of saying, “I already know,” we begin asking, “What can I learn?”
That shift from certainty to curiosity is one of the most important ideas behind the prayer.
Why Is the Set Aside Prayer Popular in AA Recovery?
Recovery involves learning new ways of thinking and responding.
Many people arrive at recovery after spending years relying heavily on their own strategies for managing fear, relationships, stress, resentment, disappointment, and alcohol.
Some of those strategies may have become deeply ingrained.
When a sponsor, therapist, recovery book, or fellow member suggests a different approach, the natural reaction may be resistance.
The Set Aside Prayer can help soften that resistance.
It encourages willingness without demanding immediate agreement.
You do not have to instantly believe everything you hear.
You simply become willing to consider it.
That is an important distinction.
Open-mindedness does not mean accepting every idea without thought.
It means allowing an idea to be considered before rejecting it.
The Set Aside Prayer and Open-Mindedness
Open-mindedness plays an important role in many recovery journeys.
A person entering AA may have assumptions about almost every aspect of recovery.
They may have assumptions about meetings.
They may have assumptions about sponsorship.
They may have assumptions about God.
They may have assumptions about people who attend AA.
They may even have assumptions about what sobriety will feel like.
Sometimes these beliefs come from previous experiences.
Others may come from fear.
The Set Aside Prayer creates a moment in which those expectations can be temporarily released.
You might pray before a meeting:
“Help me listen for something useful rather than focusing on what I disagree with.”
Before speaking with a sponsor:
“Help me hear what is being suggested before immediately defending my position.”
Before reading recovery literature:
“Help me understand what this passage might mean instead of assuming I already know.”
That practice can create space for growth.
The Set Aside Prayer and Humility
Humility is sometimes misunderstood.
It does not mean thinking poorly of yourself.
It does not require believing that everyone else is always right.
In recovery, humility can simply mean recognizing the limitations of your own knowledge.
Nobody sees every situation perfectly.
Everyone brings personal history, fear, expectations, and bias into the way they interpret life.
The Set Aside Prayer acknowledges this reality.
When you ask to set aside what you think you know, you are not saying that everything you know is wrong.
You are saying:
“I am willing to accept that there may be something I haven’t seen yet.”
That is a powerful form of humility.
When Should You Use the Set Aside Prayer?
There is no strict schedule for using the prayer.
People may use it whenever they feel that assumptions, frustration, fear, or certainty are blocking their ability to learn.
Before an AA Meeting
Someone attending a meeting may hear a topic they have heard many times before.
It can be easy to think:
“I already understand this.”
The Set Aside Prayer can help you listen as though you were hearing the message for the first time.
Sometimes an idea becomes meaningful only after our life experiences have changed.
Something that seemed irrelevant six months ago may suddenly make perfect sense today.
Before Reading the Big Book
Recovery literature can produce strong reactions.
Certain passages may immediately make sense while others may feel confusing, outdated, challenging, or uncomfortable.
Praying beforehand can help create a mindset of exploration.
Instead of immediately deciding whether every sentence is right or wrong, you can ask:
“What is this trying to teach me?”
That question often leads to deeper understanding.
Before Working the Twelve Steps
The Twelve Steps can challenge how people think about themselves, other people, responsibility, resentment, spirituality, and relationships.
Old beliefs can sometimes interfere with Step work.
For example, someone approaching Step Four may already have a fixed explanation for every resentment in their life.
Another person approaching Step Three may have strong ideas about what the word “God” must mean.
Using the Set Aside Prayer may help people approach those Steps with greater willingness.
Before Talking With a Sponsor
Sponsor-sponsee conversations can occasionally be uncomfortable.
A sponsor may ask a question that challenges the way someone sees a situation.
The first reaction may be defensiveness.
The Set Aside Prayer can help create a small pause between hearing something and rejecting it.
You may still disagree afterward.
But you have given yourself an opportunity to consider another perspective first.
During Conflict
The prayer can also be useful outside formal recovery activities.
Suppose you are arguing with someone.
Your mind may immediately say:
“I know exactly why they’re doing this.”
“They always act this way.”
“They don’t care.”
“I am completely right.”
The Set Aside Prayer invites another possibility:
“What if I don’t fully understand what’s happening?”
That question can reduce unnecessary conflict and create room for healthier communication.
How the Set Aside Prayer Can Support Step Work
The prayer can complement several principles commonly encountered when working through the Twelve Steps.
Step One: Becoming Willing to See Reality
Recovery often starts when someone becomes willing to see their relationship with alcohol differently.
Old explanations may need to be reconsidered.
The Set Aside Prayer supports the willingness to look at reality without automatically defending previous beliefs.
Steps Two and Three: Exploring Spirituality
Spirituality can be difficult for some people entering recovery.
Some had negative religious experiences.
Others may not believe in God.
Some may have very specific spiritual beliefs.
The Set Aside Prayer does not necessarily require someone to erase those beliefs.
Instead, it can encourage exploration.
A person might temporarily set aside previous assumptions about spirituality long enough to understand how spiritual principles are being discussed within recovery.
Steps Four and Five: Looking at Ourselves Differently
Personal inventory requires honesty.
Sometimes our existing stories about ourselves make that difficult.
We may see ourselves entirely as victims.
Or entirely as failures.
Neither extreme necessarily presents the complete picture.
Setting aside familiar narratives can help create room for a more balanced understanding.
Steps Eight and Nine: Looking at Relationships
Our memories of relationships are shaped by emotion.
Resentment, guilt, fear, shame, and anger may influence how we remember events.
The Set Aside Prayer can support the willingness to examine those experiences from another perspective while still acknowledging genuine harm.
Steps Ten Through Twelve: Remaining Teachable
Long-term recovery does not mean someone has learned everything.
In fact, experience can sometimes create another challenge: becoming overly confident.
A person with many years of sobriety may think:
“I’ve heard all this before.”
The Set Aside Prayer can help experienced members remain students of recovery.
Set Aside Prayer AA and the Beginner’s Mind
There is a helpful concept sometimes described as having a “beginner’s mind.”
A beginner does not assume they already know the answer.
They observe.
They ask questions.
They listen.
They remain curious.
Recovery can benefit from the same attitude.
Think about attending your hundredth meeting.
You could approach it thinking:
“I’ve heard every possible thing people can say here.”
Or you could ask:
“What can I hear today that I wasn’t ready to understand before?”
The meeting itself has not changed.
Your attitude has.
The Set Aside Prayer helps encourage the second approach.
What the Set Aside Prayer Is Not
Understanding what the prayer does not mean is equally important.
It Does Not Mean Ignoring Your Experience
Your experiences matter.
Recovery does not require pretending that your history never happened.
Setting something aside means becoming willing to examine it from another viewpoint.
It Does Not Mean Blindly Believing Everything
Open-mindedness is not blind acceptance.
You can listen carefully, think critically, discuss ideas with trusted people, and decide what is useful.
The purpose is simply to avoid rejecting something before you understand it.
It Does Not Mean Losing Your Identity
Recovery is not about becoming an identical copy of another person.
The prayer encourages learning while still allowing room for individual experience and personal spiritual understanding.
It Is Not a Magic Solution
Saying a prayer does not automatically remove resentment, addiction, fear, or confusion.
Prayer can help create a mindset.
Action still matters.
Recovery usually involves meetings, honest self-examination, support, behavioral change, accountability, and continued effort.
How to Practice the Set Aside Principle Every Day
The principle behind the Set Aside Prayer can become a daily habit.
You can use it even when you do not formally say the prayer.
Listen Before Responding
When someone says something that bothers you, notice how quickly your mind creates an explanation.
Before responding, ask whether another interpretation is possible.
Question Automatic Thoughts
Thoughts can feel like facts even when they are assumptions.
If you think:
“Nobody understands me.”
Ask:
“Is that definitely true?”
If you think:
“This will never get better.”
Ask:
“Do I actually know what the future will bring?”
Creating space between a thought and your reaction can reduce impulsive decisions.
Stay Curious
Curiosity is one of the simplest ways to practice open-mindedness.
Instead of asking only:
“Do I agree?”
Try asking:
“Why does this person see it this way?”
“What could I learn here?”
“What am I missing?”
“What would happen if I tried something different?”
Curiosity turns disagreement into an opportunity for understanding.
A Short Set Aside Morning Prayer
You can also apply the principle at the beginning of your day.
God, help me set aside my expectations for today.
Help me release the need to control every outcome.
Give me the willingness to learn from the people and situations I encounter.
Help me recognize when fear, pride, resentment, or past experiences are influencing the way I see things.
Give me wisdom to understand what I can change, patience with what I cannot control, and an open mind toward the lessons this day may bring.
Help me remain willing, honest, teachable, and grateful throughout my recovery.
Amen.
Why the Set Aside Prayer Can Remain Useful in Long-Term Recovery
Newcomers are not the only people who can benefit from this prayer.
Long-term recovery can sometimes create familiarity.
Familiarity is helpful because experience provides stability.
However, familiarity can also make someone stop listening.
A person may hear the same Step discussed hundreds of times.
They may read the same chapter repeatedly.
They may listen to newcomers share experiences similar to ones they heard years earlier.
The temptation is to believe there is nothing new to learn.
But people change.
Circumstances change.
Our understanding changes.
A passage read during the first month of sobriety may mean something entirely different after five or ten years.
The Set Aside Prayer helps protect against becoming spiritually or emotionally closed.
It reminds people that recovery can continue to deepen.
Making the Set Aside Prayer Personal
You do not necessarily need complicated language.
The prayer can be adapted to whatever situation you are facing.
Before a meeting:
“Help me set aside what I expect to hear so I can listen openly.”
Before a difficult conversation:
“Help me set aside my assumptions about this person.”
Before Step work:
“Help me set aside what I think I already understand.”
During resentment:
“Help me set aside my certainty long enough to see this situation differently.”
During fear:
“Help me set aside my predictions about what will happen.”
During recovery:
“Help me remain willing to learn.”
These simple prayers all reflect the same principle.
Openness creates possibilities that certainty sometimes prevents us from seeing.
Conclusion
The Set Aside Prayer AA is more than a collection of words. It represents an attitude that can support recovery: humility, willingness, curiosity, and open-mindedness.
People in recovery often carry years of experiences, assumptions, fears, resentments, and beliefs into the rooms of AA. Some of those experiences contain valuable lessons. Others may prevent new lessons from being heard.
The Set Aside Prayer does not ask us to permanently abandon everything we know.
It asks us to loosen our grip long enough to consider that another perspective may exist.
Whether you use the prayer before reading recovery literature, attending a meeting, working the Steps, speaking with a sponsor, or navigating a difficult day, its message remains simple:
Stay willing to learn.
Sometimes the next stage of growth begins not by finding another answer, but by becoming willing to question the answers we thought we already had.
FAQs
The Set Aside Prayer is a prayer commonly used by people in AA and other 12-step communities to encourage open-mindedness. It asks for help temporarily setting aside assumptions, previous knowledge, expectations, and beliefs so that new understanding can become possible.
The Set Aside Prayer is widely used within recovery communities, but it is generally regarded as a fellowship prayer rather than an official Conference-approved Alcoholics Anonymous prayer.
You can use it before AA meetings, Step work, reading recovery literature, talking with a sponsor, having difficult conversations, or whenever you notice yourself becoming defensive or overly certain.
Its primary purpose is to encourage humility and open-mindedness. It helps a person become willing to consider new perspectives rather than automatically relying on existing assumptions.
Yes. Newcomers may find it especially helpful because recovery introduces many unfamiliar concepts. The prayer can encourage them to listen and explore before deciding whether something applies to them.
Absolutely. The prayer can help experienced members avoid becoming overly familiar with recovery concepts and remind them to remain teachable.
